im a dreamer

i'm a dreamer & i dont need to sleep to be dreamin'

& swear to God, thats dumb luck

cos i been havin' trouble sleepin'

that's why i get f*cked up

before i meet with my demons

and when i wake up

i'm depressed for no reason

i feel sick in my gut

& i hate every season

the longer it lasts, the more the pain deepens

i feel like my soul's been battered & beaten

and there's nothing i can do to increase the peace

& i dunno why i just repeat the cycle

cos the whole process has me suicidal

and i could reach out for help but my hands stay

.....i can do it on my own........

i'll be dreamin' when i'm asleep & not sleepin' when i'm awake

dreamin' with my eyes open is like a sleep that i take

cos i'm not conscious of my surroundings so it's dreams that i make

but i'll be grounded once i've found the dreams that i chase

that i don't even know if exist or if people can create

but i never lose faith & i never give up

even when it appears that i'm so fed up

so messed up and so stressed out

still dress up in a smile before i step out..

bLue or bRown!!

There are two I love;

And they're so different from each other.

One is quiet;

The other just won't shut up!

One has soft brown eyes that are big as can be;

The other has blue eyes that are deep as the sea.

One I've loved for more than a year;

The other has just come into my life.

One knows how I feel;

The other is clueless of the love I have for him.

One I've known for three years;

The other I've just met.

One I'll see for years to come;

The other I may only see for one more month.

One has never once held me in his arms;

The other I never want him to let go.

One I think about once in a while;

The other is always on my mind.

One all my friends know;

The other a few know of.

One it's the same feelings day after day;

The other I've never had these feelings before. 
They're both into sports;

But they're different.

They're both as sweet as can be;

But different in many ways.

When I'm with one I feel so different;

When I'm with the other I never want to part.

They're so different; yet the same.

finding myself!!

I wake up and look in the mirror, and Im really not sure who's looking back at me. My heart is filled with pain, but I still have a smile on my face. Im living so many lives, that I dont even know who I am. So  Im on a mission to find myself. To seek for the person that's waiting to be found. I dont want to find the person that people want me to be. I just want to find me. I will search in my heart, and I will search in my soul, but once Ive found this person, I will never let go. Once I have found the person I am looking for, I will bring her back to me, to have her be the one looking back at me when I wake in the morning. She can show me the way, so I can be myself day after day. Im on a mission of finding myself, , To find who I want to be, And Im not scared of who I'll find, Cause I'll have to find me.